Conversations With My Characters, Volume II

Jeff: Hey, remember me?

Me: Of course I remember you, silly! How've you been, Jim?

Jeff: It's Jeff.

Me: Oh. Right. Sorry. So what's up?

Jeff: I was sort of hoping you could tell me...

Me: Me? Oh, me! Right. Well...uh...I've been a little busy.

Jeff: Yeah, I noticed. So how's engagement treating you?

Me: Just great, thanks!

Jeff: Hope yours turns out better than mine.

Me: (awkward chuckle) Yes, I do too...

Jeff: So hey, listen. I had this idea for the third arc. How's this sound to you? What if we reveal that I'm not really me, I'm a Russian assassin - no, spy. I like spy way better. So I'm like this Russian spy that's...been sent to kill........the other Russian spy.

Me: M'kay...and who is the other Russian spy?

Jeff: I haven't really gotten that far yet. Uh...how about that Laramie guy?

Me: Michael? Nah.

Jeff: We don't know anything about him, do we? It could work.

Me: Well...that's certainly a great idea, Jeff, and I will definitely keep it in mind. Thank you.

Jeff: (mumbling) Hey, somebody's gotta write this shit.

Me: I'm sorry, what was that?

Jeff: Nothing.


Okay, so I suck. I admit it. I really, really suck. I've been preoccupied with a thousand other things that don't involve writing and I've allowed a thousand other things to distract me from this story. I'm making every effort possible to get back into it, if only so we don't have to endure a story about a couple of unlikely Russian spies (though that might be kinda interesting, now that I think about it...)

I am upset

It seems everything's going wrong today. I'm pissed at my job, I'm pissed at the way a certain chain of events has spiraled out of control, I'm pissed at the way there's problems everywhere...and I'm just pissed that I'm so damn pissed about it. I hate feeling this way.

I hate feeling so undesirable, so unlovable, so reclusive...when I just wanna be held. I hate feeling so counterproductive and ineffective...when I just wanna do something.

I need to get out of this rut. I have much to think about...but for right now, I really just wanna be held.

I AM ENGAGED!

As my last post stated, I spent the past few days in San Antonio with Eli. I knew (because I just know stuff sometimes) that this little sabbatical would change everything in this relationship - in a good way. And well...it did.

He proposed on Friday. We'd had what I guess you could call an informal engagement up to that point. We knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, and we were even looking at rings, but we'd yet to make it official. Well, at Rivercenter Mall in San Antonio, TX, I fell in love with the gem you see to your left, so we bought it. Keep in mind this ring is a mere prototype. I fell in love with the design, but we intend to take it to a jeweler to customize it a bit. I want a pear shaped center stone and I'd like the accents to go all the way around, but the same size stone, the same mounting, the same everything else.

I have gone from being a single woman to being engaged in three months time...and I could not be happier about it. I adore this man, and I know he adores me too. He is so good to me I can't even begin to explain. This is so right. It's one of those things you just know, deep down within you. We don't have a date set. We don't have any real plans, except I will wear red and wear a huge red hat like the one Lucy wore when she married Alan on GH. We just figure when the time is right, it will happen. But this much is certain: I will be Mrs. Aaron one day...and I could not be happier about it.