New year, new resolve: No. More. Bullshit.

It's been an eternity since I last wrote something in here. I'd love to say I had a lot going on, but other than getting married, moving into a new home and sleeping my life away, my schedule's been pretty free.

Tell me you saw the sarcasm in that. Even if you didn't, tell me you did.

I thought it was time to update this blog, though...to let you guys know where I'm at creatively and personally. I still haven't written anything of substance since July. This both shames and saddens me. I really hoped that 2010 would be the year I returned to my former creative glories, and while it started out that way, nothing earth-shattering was accomplished. You can only imagine how overjoyed I am about that.

I did learn a few things about myself, though...I learned that I have a thin skin. It doesn't take much to hurt me...in fact, a recurring theme in this blog was how much various people in the webfiction niche I tried to insert myself into hurt me by their complete disregard for anything I did. This reached its pinnacle after yet another humiliating omission that I discovered on Christmas Eve.

Now...I never expected to set the world on fire with my tales. I never thought I'd come away from the whole experience as the number one champ. I never even thought I'd be that successful. But I never in a million years thought that I could be so soundly ignored by so many people and institutions. That really crushed my fragile little ego. You might say that a person that puts their work out in the public spectrum should get used to rejection and you're probably right. They should...or, they could quietly back away, realizing that no matter what they did, nobody would give a shit.

I sound scornful. I really wanted to avoid that, but...it's the way I feel. It hurt me tremendously to not be a part of the crowd, despite my best (and I mean best, because I don't know a soul who writes and rewrites as obsessively as I do) efforts to be appreciated. It hurt me that people didn't really give a shit about whether I updated or not. It hurt me that I've yet to receive a damn editorial rating on WFG, even if it were that blasted 2-line tripe that Linda Shoelaces or whatever her name is dishes out. Everyone got so up in arms about that, but I didn't even get one so yeah. I suck balls, as far as they're all concerned...and if I sound a little bit scornful, you're just going to have to forgive me. It's just what happens when a person's been hurt one time too many.

My new year's resolution is to sever all ties with the webfiction community. I no longer want to be a part of it, nor will I chase after anyone to get the appreciation I am due. My attitude is, if you don't care, then I really don't care. I met some really nice people through my time there, and I fully intend to keep up with them, be it on FB or Twitter...but as for the community as a whole, the message has been received. I'm not wanted...so I'm gone.

Peace.